Oh Sweet Joy!

on why i’m not confirming you as a friend on facebook

Well that sounded rude, didn’t it? Sorry about that. 
I typically ignore friend requests on facebook. I don’t have the app on my phone so when I log on, that’s, for some reason, the last thing on my mind. I checked it recently and I was overwhelmed by all the unfamiliar names. Why are you friend requesting me? Who are you?? Then I reread the names and although still unfamililar, for the most part, I recognized their photos from twitter avatars and blog “profile” photos. I was receiving friend requests from readers, other bloggers and other handmade shop owners that I’ve purchased something from or chatted with on twitter. I clicked ignore. 
Chase is the complete opposite. He’ll friend request people just because they have a mutual friend. It makes me cringe….but it’s different for us. Our personalities are different and our areas of influence are different.

In light of that,  I wanted to explain a little bit about why I keep my Facebook for personal, “real life,” I actually know you relationships. 
Because of the online nature of my blog and handmade business, a LOT of my life is public. I instagram multiple times a day. I tweet endless times a day (oops). I enjoy feeling connected, I really do, or else I’d shut this thing down in a heartbeat. I often feel as though my Facebook is the only place that I can keep up with friends & family without so much noise. Sometimes I like logging onto facebook because it’s QUIET compared to twitter and pinterest. No one is promoting themselves. It’s real life and not lucrative. It’s more lighthearted. It keeps me connected to Texas, to my beloved Texas A&M, to people I grew up with in some strange way. 

I don’t feel like I’m on a platform on Facebook. Sure, my words absolutely still matter, but I don’t feel like there are thousands of people waiting to pick me apart. It’s people who take me at face value because they’ve known me the longest..and that’s the thing – they know me. They know my crazy, energizer, used to do stupid skits during pep rallies and at fish camp side and they know my introverted, I’d rather stay at home and cook dinner than go to someone’s house and watch the Bachelor with a bunch of chatty girls side. They know that I used to be a freaking stuck up legalist/pharisee that thought I was better than everyone else because I followed the “rules” and most of them know what a front that was. They had grace with me in those times. Some of them made me break rules, haha. I love them for that. 
It gets deeper than that too – earlier this summer I thought I miscarried ((I actually still don’t know and that post is still in draft form)). I didn’t want that to be public at the time because emotionally I just didn’t know how to handle it. Now, I didn’t put it on facebook and ask for prayer because of all the confusion in my mind & body – but if I was going to ask publicly for prayer it would have been from those people. Not because your prayers are less meaningful…but because at that time, I would have needed the people who have been there and seen me through all my dirt — not just my photoshop filtered baking disasters — and they would know how to encourage me. They’d pick up their phones and text me a prayer they were praying over me, not just tweet me a Bible verse ((which I don’t want to down play, but you know what I’m saying.))

Our baby announcement went public on Facebook first, because that makes sense, right? I can’t text every person from college and tell them, “hey! i’m knocked up!” – but I felt like people who I cheered with, who saw me have braces & bangs at the same time, who didn’t tell me I was dumb for wearing fall out boy tshirts & converses…people who distracted me at Sweet Eugenes when I was studying, who were in my fish camps, organizations, and small groups at church back in College Station should know before all the strangers that read my blog. I need a place for that. 
Now, there are a few exceptions to this, of course. Most of those are because I’ve made a heart connection with some of you. I’ve asked you for prayer. You’ve asked the same of me. You’ve shared heartache and I’ve been heartbroken for you. We’ve collaborated and worked together on a project. You know my heart. We e-mail or text on (at least) a weekly basis. After reading this post, I was super convicted of keeping my online friends and my real life friends in separate boxes. After all, I will be meeting a bunch of you in September at the Influence Conference and many of you will transition into that “real life” bubble of mine. That’s going to be hard for me. It’s hard for me to let people in. I’m working on it.

It’s not that I don’t like you when I click “ignore.” I don’t think twice when other bloggers accept everyone and interact with them on facebook as they do on twitter or their blog. It’s just that I feel that I put enough of my life “out there” for the world to see and I need a little space in this social media addicted world. Thanks for understanding 🙂

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